That’s how it feels. Waiting for things to get worse, or (hopefully) better.
I will say that I did not have an exacerbation today, for the second day running. I find it a lot easier to be positive and not stressed out if I do not get myself into a bit of a state, MS-wise. Which probably helps in itself.
I am very spoilt. My MIL sent over some pancakes for me. (Michael had his at her house). Thanks, Mom. Perfect for a rainy day. I must say, lying in bed, with the sound of the rain on the roof, doesn’t hurt, either.
I don’t feel quite as good as I did yesterday this time, relatively speaking. However, I did have a much better night, last night. Got quite a good night’s sleep, actually.
My eyes were bothering me a little today. (That thing where the muscles in my eyes don’t want to focus that brilliantly,)
All in all, though, not too bad a day. I wouldn’t say that it has gotten worse, at any rate.
I decided to make it my business to rest today.
And while I don’t feel leaps and bounds better, I at least didn’t have a five hour exacerbation like I did every day for the previous week!
My dear MIL, bless her, made food for us so I didn’t have to do that. I stayed in bed a lot of the day, and watched what I ate (no gluten, no sugar, seems to help, and no heavy meals).
I also didn’t have to water my roses as there was gentle and continuous rainfall the whole day. Yes!!!
I’m amazed it took me so long to come up with Rose for our daughter’s second name. Seems a pretty obvious choice
So, not out of the woods yet, but managing the flare up better. There are some women that have to do bed-rest for half of their pregnancy. I won’t do full bed-rest, as I get too stiff, but frequent lie-downs seem to help.
Frankly, getting through each day without meds is a bit of a triumph. And one day closer to Vivienne’s birth
I hope tonight will go better, also. Last night I woke up to go to the bathroom and my balance was so off I nearly fell out of the bed. My balance is at its worst in the dark. Think I might sleep with the bathroom light on tonight, as per Michael’s suggestion.
First some good news. I am gaining weight nicely. For years I battled to get over the 49kg mark. No matter what I did. And I did not appreciate people remarking on it, either.
As of today, I weigh 53.5kg. As I was under 49kg to start with, that is a nice 4.5kg weight gain so far. Probably closer to 5kg.
My face has filled out some and I am loving it! All I had to do was get pregnant Who knew
I seem to imagine that I felt Vivienne on the move. Felt like a tiny,little nudge. Can’t wait for the next one. (Next nudge, not next child!)
In the not so good news, I feel rather shocking.
Every day I get an MS exacerbation. I feel like I’m back in the MS wilderness. I’m walking like a parody of a drunk person. Exaggerated, wide-spaced gait, bit duck-footed. My balance is terrible. I actually took my walker out of the garage today. Teddy was quite spooked by it. I haven’t had to use it since I’ve had the dogs. Unfortunately, using it hurts my back, I think. So during that time that I feel exacerbated, I should probably just sleep it off.
It seems to get worse when I eat, especially cooked meals. I had a smallish portion of curried mince and rice, gemsquash and a salad. Then it pretty much hit me. I was still hungry, so I ate bran flakes and then some toast. The more I ate, the worse I felt. But I feel so hungry all the time! Big time catch 22 here.
This time of the evening, I start perking up a little. Nothing great shakes.I can’t get it together enough to go to Spar with Michael. Definitely can’t drive myself during the day. It would be like trying to climb Mnt. Kilimanjaro.
I’ve been trying to work out how long this has been going on for. The symptoms I had with my hand lasted I think a little over two weeks. Then it got better.
This time round has been about a week. Maybe it will also blow over. Oh please let it just go away!
This is my only Vivienne Rose I will ever have. I don’t want to do anything that could hurt her or disadvantage her at all.
I am hurting and disadvantaging myself though, at this stage. I’ve been here before and I don’t want to go back.
Doctors seem to be quite divided over giving cortico steroids during pregnancy. Some say go for it, some say don’t and some say just not in the first trimester.
I certainly don’t want to take it, but nor do I want to be disabled and not able to look after her properly.
Just hoping and praying that it goes past by itself.
Trying not to feel stressed.
We’re pretty much at the half-way mark with this pregnancy. Elective caesarians are usually scheduled at about 38 weeks (hope not to go sooner than that). I’m thinking a caesar might be a good idea. I can’t imagine giving birth naturally with a possible MS relapse. I exacerbate just from doing the dishes! I’m still open to how things progress, however. I do think a natural birth is healthier for baby. We’ll just see how it all pans out. But based on how I’m feeling now… I’m thinking caesar.
My balance is not good. Walking is unstable and my eyes aren’t great. I was at Dischem today while Michael was in Sportsmen’s Warehouse next door. But it was so busy at Dischem (month end) and the service not great. I felt quite spaced-out and the queue at the till was so long, I decied to leave and go and find Michael.
Think I’ll stay at home for a good bit until I feel better and just relax.
Pregnancy going really well. Bump is coming along nicely. Still don’t have any side-effects from pregnancy that are bothering me at all, and for this I am truly grateful.
My MS on the other hand is a different story.
I’m actually really disappointed, because in the majority of cases, MS becomes pretty much dormant during pregnancy. I had sort of accepted that and it was definitely not among any worries that I may have had. Within six months post-partum, there is statistically a good chance of relapsing. I was not concerned about this, as by then I could take any medication I needed to, without worrying about a little fetus getting some cortico-steroids in.
That is not the case at the moment, however. I am fairly miserable and frankly, could do with a course of IV steroids. This is not my first rodeo and I’m not thrilled to be revisiting this particular part of my life.
That familiar sensation of my world shrinking in around me is, as I lose the abilty to walk comfortably and as far as I’d like, is not a nice feeling.
Basically, how my MS is manifesting at the moment, is muscle fatigue and a noticeable loss of vision.
I have an extremely limited amount of time that I can spend on my feet, either standing or walking.
if I go beyond a certain threshold, then I end up exacerbating, which is a short-lived (two to three hours) worsening of my symptoms to the degree that I can hardly walk or balance at all and my vision dims. Yesterday, I even had a brief spell of not being able to breath comfortably.
This has happened like clockwork every day this week.
I’ve barely been out the house.
If this was the first time it happened, I’d probably be a lot more terrified/ depressed. But i’ve been here before and at this stage, I can still cope.
I will be taking it (even) easier and resting as much as possible.
I will not be taking steroids at this point. I’m still optimistic that it might go away on its own, due to the pregnancy hormones that are supposed to be protective.
I’m going to take it week by week.
I am still enjoying the pregnancy enormously. Haven’t felt the first movements yet but the pregnancy books and websites assure me that up until 22 weeks is fine, and if you still haven’t felt anything, to ask your doctor. I’m so excited, though, to feel her little flutterings and kicks,
We have pretty much settled on a name: Vivienne Rose.
After much dithering on the spelling of Vivienne, we settled on this one, because it is so feminine and beautiful. Also, each letter is featured twice, which appeals to me greatly.And it has the same amount of letters in it as in my full name, Margaret.
We are going to pronoince it in the usual way, Vi-vee-un and not the French way.
Then the search for a second name. Because Vivienne is a bit of a mouthful, the second name has to be short. Ideally one syllable. We considered a couple. “May’ for instance, was Michael’s granny’s name. Then I suggested “Rose’ and Michael said he just loves it, I like it a lot, too, and they seem to go together really nicely.
As for me, as happy as I am, I’m really battling with the MS.
I’ll update tomorrow, for record keeping purposes.
Hoping and praying like mad that it will pass, as the one I had in January did.
I’m so sleepy. Lately, I’ve been clutching out at 9pm, lol.
Just had to share that we went to the doctor today for the big gender reveal, and he said it’s a girl.
Actually, what he said was, “I see a hamburger.”
Later, he said, “Yes, this is a little lady.” Oh, and the best part – she’s just perfect.