Archive for December 19th, 2008
I am so bored with having relapses over Christmas and my birthday.
A person can only get upset and stressed about the same damn thing so many times before it becomes boring. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I am taking it in my stride, but honestly – my nerves can’t take it to get so worked up every time. So for now I’m just gonna chillax some.
Must just say, it is not normal to have this many relapses. Not that MS is ever normal but you know what I mean. Not your common and garden variety.
I am too hard on myself. I sometimes forget just how chronic this illness can be. It is true that a person can adapt to just about anything in life and that will become your normal.
Every now and then, though, I take a step back and think, “Wow, this is not normal.
It is not normal to have to practically dehydrate oneself if a trip anywhere is planned to try and calm the raging bladder. Seriously, it is contantly on my mind when I am out and about. I always have to know exactly where the nearest toilet is before I can relax. It is not a peaceful way of life.
Also not normal is how I felt after planting my latest rose-bush (the Blue Moon rose, can’t wait for it to bloom!!) Okay, it was in the midday sun, but still. I staggered haphazardly indoors like an alcoholic after a ten-day binge and collapsed in a bath of cold water. I hate that feeling.
And I hate the fatigue that is creeping over me. Like I said to my sister, “I feel fatigued. Mind you, at least I feel something, because I sure ain’t feelin’ my legs at the moment.”
Which isn’t strictly true. I can feel my legs, but it feels as though I have five pairs of Arctic trousers on. I feel, but as though muffled through many layers. An uncomfortable, woolly feeling. Kak, even.
Had to laugh at myself , though. I had the ‘invisible wedgie’ symptom yesterday, which is where you feel as though you have a mean wedgie, but actually it is just the one side of your butt that is so numb that it mimics the feeling of having your underpants wedged half up your ass.
Not the best feeling in the world! Could seriously drive one nutty.
Anyway, I was lamenting my fate at being struck by the ‘invisible wedgie’ when I inadvertantly discovered that it was, in fact, a genuine, bona-fide wedgie. A traditional, tangible one, that is.
Oh, what joy. To be able to remove that wedgie at once and to revel in that glorious liberated feeling.
I know I’m a bit nutty, but don’t judge me if you have never experienced a wedgie that is impossible to remove because it actully doesn’t exist.