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Archive for May 10th, 2007

Back on the beaten track

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Unfortunately I need to have a bit of a meltdown every now and then to purge the self-pity. Luckily it is more or less limited to my blog, so no harm. Wonderful tool for releasing pent up emotion, I must say. And I don’t end up looking like a nutter in real-life, who’s about to lose the plot for good. Doesn’t matter so much in BlogWorld, because let’s face it, anyone who’d put their life story on the internet for anyone to read has got to be a bit of a nutter. An exhibitionist nutter, at that. No offense to all my fellow bloggers. You know it’s tongue in cheek, but really! We’re part of a new generation here, all this touchy-feeliness in cyberspace. It’s virtual *hugs* just where you look. Speaking of which, why has no-one ever given me a virtual hug? Well, not lately, anyway, dammit. 

Today, I see the brighter side of life. Like the fact that my hand hasn’t regressed further, has in fact recovered a bit. Well, who saw that coming, because I sure didn’t. Not while I was in the throes of ‘what will become of me, boo hoo’. But back in the realm of objectivity, and its cohort, curious detachment, I have been able to zoom out just a little and see, hey! It’s not as Apocolyptic as I thought. I may not drop off the planet in a mangled heap just yet. So there.  

Also unfortunately, a bout of self-pity, culminating in a melt-down, is as always followed by a brief period of stroppiness. I do apologise. 

I’ve had a nice day. Productive and almost…what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yes. Fun.I should get up at 7 more often. 

My luck is in. For once. (Quite a red-letter day actually.) I went for an ion-detox this morning, and the reading for my lungs was quite low. The practitioner said it is probably an indication of a bout of flu that’s on its way. Apparently, these things show up in our energy meridians first, before we start getting actual symptoms. (I didn’t mention it, but this morning when I got up, I felt the twingiest twinge in my throat, which is always a precursor to me getting a cold or flu).Where is the luck in this, you ask? Well, by doing the detox, I may have caught it in time, and might just have avoided it altogether. Once you actually have it, it’s no use detoxing. Well, you’ll help speed it along, but that’s all. So here’s holding thumbs that I’ve had a lucky escape.

BTW, I know this detox business seems improbable, but I’m telling you, it works!

Written by Maggie

May 10, 2007 at 4:00 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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I don’t know what crossed over my path yesterday, but I felt so down. But  to translate directly from a popular Afrikaans saying, today I feel pieces better.

But if this is the way that MS wants to play the game, I’ll just have to find a way around it. There’s just no way I’m giving up the gyming. Even what happened yesterday is not as bad as lying awake at night because my back is hurting too bad for me to sleep. So I decided I’ll go more often (to gym) but do less when I’m there. I’ll get out the pool before I reach that point where I can’t walk, and not after. That should work out.

I no longer have the luxury of being in denial about my illness. But that’s okay, too. Who wants to be an ostrich?

So I have limited energy. The trick is then to make what energy I do have, count. And to all practical intents and purposes, I only feel (and look) obvioously disabled if I overdo things and use up too  much energy at once. So I must work very hard at not reaching that point. Because it’s that feeling that makes me so down in the dumps.

Yesterday, in the delightful mood I was in, I was pondering existentialism. What on earth is my purpose in life? Surely it can’t be to feel sh*tty the whole time! But that was yesterday, and today I am filled with lovely motivation. (Where have  you been?) Even bounded out of bed two hours earlier than my usual time.

I can’t really go on long fasts any more because of being on the trial drugs, but as of today, I am instituting my weekly 24 hour fast again. From breakfast, to breakfast the following day. It’s supposed to be a very healthy way of living.

And yesterday, when I felt like eating a truckload of chocolate and jumping off a cliff simultaneously, I managed to keep a grip on my myself, and not totally blow my diet. I did have some toast last night, and it was an interesting experiment because this morning for the first time this week, I felt horribly stiff when I got up. So I guess it’s time to say ‘so long, farewell’ to the (heavenly) bread. I can do that… Yes, of course I can. *sob*

Now, let me be off and put some of this heaven sent motivation to good use.

Written by Maggie

May 10, 2007 at 8:04 am

Posted in Uncategorized