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I made it!

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I’m feeling much better today. Yesterday was awful, the whole sorry thing peaked and I pretty much spent the day in bed. But today I feel quite awesome (by comparison, that is). And I even look better. Yesterday, I was looking positively skanky. Dry, cracked lips, pasty complexion and a schnoz like Rudolph from all the blowing. (Not Valentino, the other one, ha ha) But today I have some colour in my face and a bit of a sparkle back in my eyes. Just so you know.

I’ve been reading a book that I got as a gift from my sister. Carole Matthews’ Welcome to the Real World. It’s really charming and sweet, and has done me a lot of good while I was feeling so blah. Haven’t read a good book in a while, so I’m finding it most enjoyable.

My sister Anne (who gave me the book) has coached her choir (she’s a music teacher at a fairly larney primary school) to victory amidst stiff competition. The organisers of the competition are even talking about having the children record their song professionally. I’m so impressed.

The same sister and her new husband are in the process of applying to emigrate to Australia. I have very mixed feelings about this. I’ll miss her like crazy if she goes, but I’d certainly worry less if she was in Brisbane than in Joburg. I, along with many other Saffies, have some serious issues regarding the crime.

I’ve developed a little problem recently where, when I sneeze, the muscles in my air passage sort of go into a spasm. You know how a sneeze is usually followed by a sharp intake of breath, especially if there is another one on the way? Well, after I’ve sneezed, my air passage spasms, expressing what little air I have left in my lungs. And I normally sneeze at least 3 or 4 times. It’s quite scary. Especially as I’ve probably sneezed about 200 times these past 3 days. Seems to have calmed down now, finally. Thank goodness. Can’t say that I fancy death by sneezing.

We all know laughter is the best medicine right? Couldn’t find any capsules or bottles of it anywhere, so I found a couple of joky sites on the net to tide me over. I thought the following three were worth a chuckle or two.

How To Prepare Chicken…  

A waiter asks a man, “May I take your order, sir?”

“Yes,” the man replies. “I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?”

“Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”

I believe I’m a woman

MAN TO PSYCHIATRIST: “You have to help me, Doctor. I’m starting to believe I’m a woman.”

PSYCHIATRIST “Why do you think that?”

MAN: “It was something my gynecologist said to me the other day.”

 On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:

“The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

A male student inquired, “How much for a season pass?”

Written by Maggie

May 22, 2007 at 3:54 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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