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Archive for November 20th, 2007

loving the skin you’re in…

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I’ve never had a problem with self-esteem in my life. Until recently, that is. All of a sudden, I had issues, felt that I wasn’t being a good enough version of myself. I wasn’t managing my MS properly for starters. How’s that for being hard on myself. It’s a chronic disease, that no-one knows the answers to, but I felt like I could be doing a better job of it.

I’ve been real hard on myself, berating myself for not having a killer career, and living up to my potential. For not eating better, not being tidier, not using my time more wisely, not contributing my fair share of the household expenses … and on and on.

I didn’t initially want to go to the reunion. I thought they’d tear me apart. What have I achieved, anyway?

Boy, was I wrong.

I’m not sure what happened on Saturday, but my self-esteem levels are back where they should be. I just realised that my friends like me for who I am, and not how much money I have in the bank, or what I do for a living. They like me for me. That was such a liberating realisation.

Maybe I just needed to get out and have a good time. I’ve been spending too much time on my own, brooding about rubbishy notions.

I dabbled half-heartedly and briefly in low self-esteem, but it just wasn’t me, y’ know. Sure, there’s always room for improvement, but deep down, I wouldn’t trade me for anyone in the world!

Big (((hug))) to me!!

Written by Maggie

November 20, 2007 at 9:39 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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Just to be clear about yesterday’s post – I didn’t actually take the money from the grocery-packer! I put the bread back. But I did appreciate the gesture enormously! I want to buy him a chocolate or something as a token of friendship, but I don’t wish to appear patronising, so I probably won’t. I’ll greet him extra warmly from now on, and give him a nice tip if I ever go on my own to SPAR and he carries my parcels for me. Or maybe I could give him the chocolate as a tip. Yes, that’s what I’ll do, then he won’t feel embarassed to accept it. I just really appreciate friendliness in this day and age. It’s practically an endangered species.

I’m really having trouble posting photos on here. They show up fine on the draft, fine on the published entry, and then just mysteriously disappear the next day. Why would this be? C’mon. Anybody?

I experienced the cutest thing on Wednesday that made my toes curl right over. I was sitting in the caffeteria at the gym, waiting for my dad. The junior care is right next to it and has glass doors so one can see in. There was a little baby on the floor, I think it was a girl. She was trying to crawl. She’d obviously just started recently and wasn’t really moving much, but the concentration was intense. I was smiling, watching this unfold. Suddenly, the baby looked up, straight at me and seeing me smiling at her, gave this big beam of a grin. So we sat there beaming at each other for a while, and then she started doing baby-push-ups, obviously showing off. I mimed clapping hands, and she just about collapsed with glee. It was the cutest, cutest encounter, right from across the room, and separated by a glass door.

I don’t have the heart to redo the whole damn reunion post. And the pictures don’t seem to be much of a success, either. For those of my readers that are linked to me on facebook, the pics are all up there.

Suffice it to say that it was a total and utter BLAST. I haven’t had as much fun in ages. The food was really divine, the weather was cool, so I could wear my dressy black pants and not overheat. Also, no mobility issues at all. I walked around socialising and no-one looked at me askance. In fact, the word “MS’ never came up once the whole night. It was like a little vacation, lol. There was no snobbishness at all, everyone was delighted to see everyone else, and it came back to me what a lovely bunch of classmates we were.

Michael was the perfect, perfect escort. He was so friendly, and more than one person came up to me to say they’d met my husband and he was so nice and friendly. Also, he took it upon himself to take photos of me with various groups of friends for which I am so grateful. He got lots and the people that were unable to attend, were very grateful to see the pics.

All in all, it was way, way better than I’d hoped. I was a bit nervous about the whole thing, even having second thoughts about going, but I’m so glad I did.  I missed those crazy people I was at school with, lol.

Tune in tomorrow, for the 8 things about me meme 😉 Yup, I was tagged, good and solid.

Written by Maggie

November 20, 2007 at 2:02 pm

Posted in Uncategorized