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I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but a little cloud of I-N-S-P-I-R-A-T-I-O-N has descended on me. What an absolutely delightful phenomenon.

I have felt so unmotivated lately, everything seeming a bit on the pointless side. But no more. I’m full of plans and (more importantly) excitement at executing them. Well, tomorrow, naturally. Don’t laugh! It is 11:10pm, in my defense.

I just hope that I wake up in the morning with this lovely feeling still intact. It is so elusive that I wish I could grab onto it, shove it in a bottle, patent it. Or just save it for when I have a day like I had on Friday…

I’m weird that way. Fridays aren’t necessarily my favourite. That would be Mondays. I *heart* Mondays. So much potential. Anyway, this Friday past I felt quite crap. Decidedly under par, physically, and I felt the maw of some kind of depression below me, trying to suck me in. I managed to stay just ahead of it all day, but only just. The back of my mind was already playing the ‘what-if’ game. What if I’d never gotten MS? Would I have finished my degree? Would I have kids, and how many and what would be their names? Would I be a ballsy career woman? A natty dresser in designer suits? (Nah, scrap that last bit, lol) Then even worse, I had a brief session with the blame game. Why hadn’t I treated my various relapses sooner? Why hadn’t I stuck to my diet better?

I try not to, because it’s ridiculous, but I blame myself for being disabled. For accepting bad advice from doctors and homeopaths. (And paying for the privilege). For not being a total expert on MS from the word go and knowing exactly what to do. Is this normal at all? That is why I am so driven to recover any bit of my health that I can, because then I will feel better about myself.

On a lighter note, today we watched another episode of America’s Got Talent. I enjoyed it so, SO much. More than I’ve enjoyed anything on television for ages. Particularly the yodeling 11 year old, Taylor Ware. She charmed the pants off me! I thought that was just the cutest performance I have ever seen. I read an article recently that said we can all do with ‘cute’ in our lives and that it is very healthy for wellbeing. How about that!

I also watched the Sunday night movie: The Devil Wears Prada, which I enjoyed thoroughly. Meryl Streep was very, very good in her part as the monstrous editor of a fashion magazine and Anne Hathaway was charming as her assistant. I think Anne is just the most gorgeous girl and such a good actress.

My dad and cousin successfully swam a 3/4 mile swim at Lake Heritage. Hats off to them, as the weather was rainy and far from ideal.

Now I’m off to bed and with any luck I will wake up feeling as inspired as I do now. Just not as tired 😉

Written by Maggie

January 20, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. Last night I was thinking – “Thank goodness it’s Sunday”
    I loved the movie last night. I loved how Meryl Streep never seemed to get upset…just have this absolute authority but with this slow calm voice lol


    January 21, 2008 at 8:30 am

  2. I also enjoyed that movie very much. Dad thought it was a lot of bull but then again what do men know ?hahaha I love the way she spoke in the movie so calm and collected.


    January 22, 2008 at 10:29 am

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