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My name is Maggie, and I have a problem…

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I am so, so addicted to chocolate, and I’ve totally given myself up to it. Phew.

I’m having at least one bar a day, and I’m enjoying it so much that I’m battling to find a reason to stop.

Eating correctly has never really done anything for me as far as a lack of relapses goes. Nope. And I did try. Can’t say that I didn’t try. I denied myself all sorts of things and even went on regular water fasts. I think that may have been a different person to me that did that. I’m not a type of person that has that level of will power and that’s a fact. I think I must have dreamt that I went on all those fasts. And yet it is written in my diary that I went on a 24 day juice fast in 2006. And made all the juices myself, five times a day. I think I must have been possessed by an alien, because anyone who knows me will tell you that that doesn’t sound like me.

Ha ha. I’m being facetious, of course. I am generally very lackadaisical about things unless I’m desperate and think I’m gonna die or some other dreadful thing. Then I tend to make an about-turn to the point of obsessiveness.

Thing is, Fingolimod is working so well for me, much better than any dietary experiment ever did.

I don’t think I’ll ever give up on eating in a generally healthy manner, but I’ve kinda reached a point where I don’t see that as including giving up on chocolate!

Especially since I’ve reached my goal weight and it’s still dropping. I don’t want it to drop below 52kg’s, because then I’ll start looking skinny, all collarbones and cheekbones. I HATE looking skinny. Hate it. So a choccie or two should help with that.

Plus it makes me feel happy! Yeah.

But I don’t like feeling so razzed up when I don’t get my chocolate fix for the day. It’s like GIMME, GIMME!

And I guess it’s not going to do my perfect dental track-record any good – 28 years old and not one single filling. I’d like to keep it that way.

Also the damn sugar is so not good for ye old immune system.

And lastly, with my pittance of a pension, I can’t actually afford chocolates every day. I haven’t bought the tons of vitamins that I usually do this month, but I can’t re-route that money into chocolate. Can I? No, definitely not.

Plus the guilt of all the child slaves that are forced to pick cocoa beans all day without ever having had chocolate pass their lips. Is that an urban myth or is it true?

Could I ever be an ‘occasional chocolate as a treat’ kinda girl?

No, I think with me it’s all or nothing, like an alcoholic that can’t even have one drink.

What am I getting at here? I’m almost afraid to say it so publicly, but I want to try a chocolate free month, to get this monkey off my back. Why I’d want to pick February for this purpose I don’t know, as it includes both Valentine’s Day and myself and Michael’s anniversary. So no chocolate body paint this year, my love 😉

(That was a joke, the body-paint bit. Actually, I’m still in disgrace for eating up all the choccie body-paint* straight from the jar on our honeymoon, before it could be put to more inventive purposes.)

*Bought for us as a novelty gimmick by one of our wedding guests.

Let me do a quick culmination of my ramblings right now. All in favour say “I”.

Right, one month without chocolate it is.

I promise to fess up if I do stray off the beaten track, into the chocolate wilderness. And my word’s as good as … chocolate. Or gold, even 😉

And as a forfeit, mmmm, how shall I be punished?

I know, I’ll have to give up eating chocolates.

No wait. DOH!

Can’t actually think of anything worse to use as a forfeit. I guess I’ll just have to forfeit my pride and dignity, and admit to being whipped by a confectionery.

Written by Maggie

January 28, 2008 at 12:02 am

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. Ha ha I so enjoyed this post. You go girl but please don’t make Feb the month to get that monkey off your back Do it in March ?



    January 28, 2008 at 11:21 am

  2. To hang with that Magdalena, go have another brownie goodie at Kentucky!!


    January 28, 2008 at 7:06 pm

  3. Addiction isnt so bad … I hear chocolate is supposed to be ‘good’ for you these days. Dark chocolate though … are you jonse’in for a hit? ;D


    January 28, 2008 at 9:51 pm

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