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Archive for April 23rd, 2008

I feel so bad….

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I think it is cricket season. The bugs, not the sport. (Mind you, the sport, too. It always seems to be bloody cricket season).

Anyway, it started off with just one. One noisy little cricket, hiding behind our kitchen sink, chirping away to the outside crickets all night. Michael said he had a good mind to spray Doom. (But he knows I’d probably divorce him if he did that. Just on principle, lol) He wasn’t too serious about it though, and with him being such a deep sleeper, it didn’t really bother him. As for myself, I quite enjoyed the chorus. It felt like being on safari somewhere. Didn’t bother me, anyway, is what I’m saying.

I adopted ‘Crickey’ as my pet. There would be occasional sightings, if we took the trouble to sneak up to the sink, because he had to back his butt out of the niche a bit to have enough space to make his chirps. Michael would try and drop the Sunlight soap on him to squash him (or at least break his leg so he wouldn’t be able to chirp). It became a bit of a joke. I’d defend Crickey by asking, “Have you seen any ants around lately? No? Well, it’s because Crickey ate them all!”

Michael was half-heartedly out to hunt Crickey down. He was out for his blood. Secretly though, I think he was also growing attached to him.

I managed to escort Crickey out the door one afternoon. He was skulking about the kitchen, and I managed to manoeuvre him out the door with my toe, closing the door behind him. When M got home and opened the door again, Crickey was back in the house, quick as a flash. Michael says he thought he heard a faint laugh and the quick flash of a cane. (Reference to Jiminy, if you never got that one).

Then there were two. Now, in case you don’t know this, two crickets are infinitely worse than one. They chirp at each other, back and forth, all night long. Dang, that was getting a bit much. One behind the sink and one behind the fridge.

We were going to sleep one night when they started up, and Michael said, in such a voice, “Ag, Crickey.” It was so cute, sort of resigned and a touch affectionate.

When we got home from the shops the next day, there was an unpleasant discovery. Under the dining-room table lay a cricket, on its back, moving its legs feebly. I lifted it onto its feet, but it was no good. That cricket was not looking in good shape. Okay, and I’m not proud of this, but we put it out of its misery. I felt like a murderer afterwards for giving the command to the firing-squad (aka Michael). I think it was quick and painless though.

Skip to later that night, Crickey (behind the sink) was not sounding himself at all. He sounded postively mournful. “He’s lonely,” I said.

Michael (who only panders to my eccenticities to a point, starting singing, “Are you lonesome tonight? Will I squash you tonight?” Ha ha, very funny. Poor Crickey.

To finish off the cricket chronicles, things have been quieting down a lot around here lately. Today I heard some muted squeaks behind the curtains of our french doors and went to investigate. And there was Crickey and his lady-love, going at it hammer and tongs! I mean, have you ever! Well, I might be a cricket lover. Or a cricket tolerator, but I won’t allow breeding on the premises. Good grief, can you imagine the cacophany?

So I got the dust-pan and brush and managed to flip the smaller of the two (the girl, I think) out of the window, which is low on the wall. Then I turned to get Crickey himself out and did the little bugger ever give me the run-around! I hunted him down for about fifteen minutes to no avail. So I had to leave it.

When I came back later, Crickey was on one side of the window and the little lady on the other side, trying in vain to get to one another. I felt like the most terrible person, having separated the poor wee beasties. Star crossed crickets. I tried to help Crickey out the window but he hopped away beind the tv cabinet, and that is where he is now, chirping reproachfully at me in loud ringing tones.

Is it possible that I have too much imagination and too little to do??




Written by Maggie

April 23, 2008 at 9:48 pm

Posted in Uncategorized