Not my finest moment…
Michael and I like to go to local restaurant, Makadu, on a Tuesday.
They have a special on Tuesdays. Buy one burger for R39, and get another one free.
Of course, the drinks push the tab up a bit, but it is still an excellent deal. The burgers are quite huge and the patties taste like real meat and not like those cardboard tasting processed ones that you get. Very delish, especially after a meat-free Monday!
Anyway, there is a waiter there who usually serves us on a Tuesday. He is a fairly nondescript looking young man, but has a lovely speaking voice and is artfully charming.
When he introduced himself to us, he asked us which language we would prefer to be served in. He modestly said that he could help us in English, Afrikaans or Italian.
I kinda thought he was kidding, so opted for Italian, to which he immediately fired off a stream of rapid and delighted Italian.
I furiously racked my brain to come up with a solitary Italian phrase, but the best I could come up with was a doubtful ‘capiche?’
After which I had to admit that I did not, actually, speak or understand Italian.
We all had a good natured laugh – it was fun. He was charming, and ever so slightly flirty (with me, not with Michael, lol).
I got that impression, anyway, but given what followed, was probably dead wrong.
We ordered the burgers, and they duly arrived at our table.
Like I said, they are quite sizable burgers, and I never know quite how to eat a burger in a restaurant. It always seems so messy, tomato and lettuce hanging out all over the place. I eventually plumped for cutting the whole thing in half, and then picking up the one half to take a bite out of it.
Except it was still pretty big for my mouth and I had to open wide to get any in.
As this was taking place, our waiter walked past our table, and without looking at me uttered in sotto voce, “That’s right, mam. You just eat the crap out of that burger.” And kept right on walking.
Oh elegance, thy name is Maggie.
Luckily, I thought it was hilariously funny, and he still got a good tip, lol.
(I must have a skin like a rhino).